Saturday, January 10, 2015

ten days late

Maybe we went to bed before 9pm on New Years Eve, but that day was really cold and very wet. I mean, we took the flood route around Earland Falls and still came out soaking. But the next day was perfect, clouds clearing, the sun reappeared. As we walked along the ridge to Harris Saddle, I could not get over this was the first day of 2015.

2014 was hard, a different kind of difficult to 2013. Our hearts hurt as we lived out the reality of a year without Ross, only to be rebroken by the death of our closest friend's son Oak. Going home to be with Mark and Lauren was one of the most important and meaningful decision we made in 2014. Then on the way to the airport before getting on a plane back to New Zealand, I heard of the death of Shannon, a dear friend's mom. As I prayed for Colleen and Kevin, my heart crumbled over their second loss within two months. Both of their moms died from cancer.

I would love to say 2015 will be different. If it is, it won't be because something tragic or difficult doesn't happen. No, it will be different as I continue to learn to surrender, so that I can trust and know God. This posture brings to light a different reality, one that does not allow circumstances to determine or reflect God's presence or care for me, for my friends, for my family.

'Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.' (1 Peter 5:6-7)

This year I want to let go and trust. I want to live not out of fear of the unknown.

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