on my mind

Oh no, it's here already. First family of the final five to move out of 305. These are our little helpers, too precious. Moving all our stuff will be tiring, but saying goodbye is going to break my heart. We've loved this place.

just phoebe

You've met her before, another afternoon with Phoebe.

And can we talk about that Sleeping at Last song? Those lyrics give me chills. 

easter

It seems fitting. The seven of us gathered to celebrate the thing that has brought us together, to live in seminary housing and be neighbors. To have friends who have felt God's love, and in response, deeply want to understand him so we might share with others.

"In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, 'Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, He has risen!'"

(Luke 24:5-6)

weekend fun

This weekend was fun with beautiful weather and so many celebrations. I spent time skyping with my family on Saturday since it was my dad's birthday. At the same time, I made apple pie for my neighbor's birthday party. I should have taken more photos. It was "Downton Abbey" themed. Funny for many reasons, my neighbor's name is Abby. She lives downstairs. Her and her husband Scott decorated the doors with Mary and Matthew peeping from the side, and they filled their wall frames with different characters: Bates, O'Brien, Countess of Grantham, Daisy, and Thomas (ew, gross).

I should mention that Scott is who pushed us to watch Downton. Then it became a routine, we watched most of season two with Abby and Scott after weekly Monday dinners. We just love them. They're good people, really good friends. I've written about our friendship before, so thankful to find friends that we easily can laugh and pray together. Abby is such a special friend, so thankful for her honesty and courage, such a blessing to my life.

I'm so thankful for the weekend, even if it was quick, it was restful and fun, filled with friends.

homemade latte & friendship

At brunch a few weeks ago, my neighbor Abby made me this yummy latte with her cute little Italian espresso maker. On Sunday before work, I asked her if I could pay her rather than Starbucks for a latte. Girl, I was covered: three shots of espresso and lots of foam. She wouldn't take my pay. She is too sweet.

Last night, we had our usual Monday dinner together. Scott and Abby provided the most amazing Pad Thai, unbelievably better than the closest Thai restaurant. Afterward, Abby showed me how to make espresso and made Logan an Americano. We're hooked. We already ordered our own espresso maker and milk frother (coming Thursday). Logan said coffee in New Zealand is mostly espresso based. We getting ready.

Once again, I must say. I really love my neighbors. It's been incredible to share life together these past few months. There are certain friendships that run deep. Our other amazing close couple best friends Mark and Lauren describe it best as a heart connection. Sometimes you find people who share share similar interests and humor but also similar passion and purpose, easily finding yourself in funny and serious conversations. I was afraid we wouldn't find that in New Jersey with being here for such a short time. But praise God, He has blessed us with such good neighbors. I wasn't necessarily ready for it when I came. I wanted to hold on to my old friends pretty tightly and was uncertain about opening up. God has taught me it's important to invest in relationships wherever I am for however long. Not for myself, but to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually present to others.

Perhaps, the trickier part is the process of desiring this for my friends that I've moved away from and no longer share physical closeness. Selfishly, I want them to like me more than new friends. But that isn't fair or healthy, obviously. It's taken time, but with God's help, I pray they find more heart connections possibly deeper than what we shared. That is really hard. Life changes and moving breaks your heart, but thankfully, if we seek love first from God, he pours out even more of His love to give us and share with new friends.

And so, I've found this balance of continuing to pray for old friends, writing letters, phone calls, but also being present to new heart connections and sharing life. For those who read this and are struggling with deep relationships (especially couples), I encourage you to ask your friends how you can pray for them and to pray together. This simple act creates such opportunity for vulnerability and growth. It's amazing how the Spirit of God can bring you together. I still remember the first time Logan, Mark, Lauren, and I prayed together. It was the beginning of incredibly life changing decisions for all of us. In the moment, we had an inkling. Those prayers initiated a season of waiting and listening to God's voice and slowly made way for promises, calling, and dreams. This summer, Mark and Lauren are moving to Colorado to plant a church in Denver while Logan and I head to Christchurch, New Zealand, to help with The Well. I just think that's neat and God is so good.

chili cheese étouffée

Yats is this Cajun restaurant around Indianapolis. Gosh, I love it. Good memories at Yats: Court and Ashley during May term, dinner before Coldplay, old staffs and hanging out in Broad Ripple, rewarding myself after twelve hour clinicals.

Last night, we asked our neighbors/friends over dinner, and I really wanted to make them something special, something new, something comfort. I found the recipe for my favorite Yats dish: chili cheese étouffée with crawfish.

First, I really don't know how to pronounce étouffée or any other French/Creole words. Clearly, I needed to research this recipe. Then questions started, worse than the pronunciation, not really. How do I cook the chicken and crawfish? Is it better marinated? What the heck is a roux? What color of roux do I need? Don't worry that it looks like a lot of ingredients - it's mostly spices. Hopefully, my additions are helpful:

Chili Cheese Etouffée with Crawfish, Shrimp and/or Chicken
1 stick of butter
½ cup flour
1 cup chopped green onions
1 cup diced celery
1 cup diced bell peppers
1 cup diced onions
2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 cup Rotel Original diced tomatoes
½ teaspoon dried thyme
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon dried basil
¼ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon white pepper
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 cups chicken stock
3 cups shredded aged cheddar
8 ounces half and half (or heavy cream)
1 teaspoon chili powder
pinch ground coriander
pinch ground cumin
pinch ground cloves
dash worcestershire sauce
dash hot sauce sauce (optional)
1 pound cooked crawfish, shrimp and/or chicken
Cooked white rice

Honestly, I looked up how to make fajita style chicken and substituted cajun spices. Cut chicken into small strips. Marinate the chicken with a couple spoons of Cajun seasoning. We didn't have any so I made my seasoning from scratch using this recipe. Cook in skillet with oil. Set aside. (If you want a quick Cajun fix and don't have time to make this recipe, you can just do the chicken with the Cajun seasoning and serve it over rice. Boom.)

Make a roux by heating the butter in a heavy skillet over medium heat then blending in the flour, consistently stirring and scraping the bottom of the skillet. Do not walk away. It takes about 10-15 minutes on a gas stove. Cook until the roux is golden color. For different roux colors, look here. We did the color after the "blonde" roux.

Add the green onions, celery, bell peppers, onions, garlic and tomatoes. Cook until the onions have browned. At this point, Logan thought it looked really weird. Continue to stir to avoid burning.

Add the thyme, tomato paste, basil and peppers (black, white, and cayenne).

Add the stock, bring to a boil and simmer until the mixture becomes thick (7-12 minutes).

Add the cheese, half and half, chili powder, coriander, cumin, cloves, worcestershire sauce and hot sauce (or wait and let others add in hot sauce). Stir until the cheese and half and half are blended in well.

Gently stir in the chicken (or shrimp or crawfish). Serve over white rice (we used Jasmine -- it's what we had).

Buy a loaf of french bread, spread melted butter, season with garlic salt and cayenne pepper. Bake for 5-10 minutes on 425 F. This bread is your other fork, pushing it around the plate, scooping it up. Chili cheese étouffée rice crunchy bread, everybody loves it.

Serves 6-8 

Tips: I cut and prepped everything before so that it was easy to add as I cooked. Separated the different spices into small bowls. It helps because you are stirring a lot to prevent it burning. No time to prep other things unless you find someone to stir for you. Oh hey Logan, thanks.
 
(source: The Burb Blog & Indianapolis Dine Magazine)

Do I love this recipe? Yes. Will I keep making it despite the stick of butter, three cups of cheddar cheese, and cup of half and half? Absolutely. Do I love people more than food? Yes. Am I glad food is a good way to spend time with people we love? Oh reader, please.

pokagon

Hello, I love camping. This past Friday, some of my old college roommates and I squeezed in a quick trip to Pokagon State Park and made some memories. The most ridiculous story is a raccoon stole our entire bag of marshmallows on our picnic table less than three feet from our campfire while we were making s'mores and then proceeded to stalk us the rest of the night. Boy, we had fun. I'll spare you from all the inside jokes and one liners that kept us laughing the entire time.

As I approach moving to a different state and making new friends, these girls make me want to dig my feet deep into the Midwest and never leave. They're amazing. But we all have plans, each one doing beautiful things from working with pre-schoolers, helping addicted teenagers, coaching a high school soccer team, moving to Australia for the Hillsong International Leadership College, and serving in Malawi this past summer (and hopefully next summer). I'm immensely blessed by the Christian community that I share with these women. And for a simple camping trip to end in prayer is sacred. We were so blessed.

touch

The picture above is dear to my heart. It is my residence hall staff from this year. There is a special story behind the meaning of that hug, but today it simply captures my heart.

I'm in a group counseling class for school, and part of our requirement is participating in our own group with other classmates. While I cannot share details or names, I can say I am blessed week to week. Today was a good, hard, messy, honest day, and my mind hasn't stop thinking about it.

While I already journaled about what I learned, things God reminded me, and such, I want to share what one of my peers said:

"Sometimes when I go a really long time without being touched, by anyone, I feel less human."

Gosh, I've heard this before, but it spoke loud to me in the biggest way. The things that make us feel less human, that make us doubt our ability to be loved, to be cared for by others.

I can't even put it into words. I know those difficulties, frustrations, struggles, messy messy sticky things that make me feel less human, that makes me doubt in every way that I am loved. In those moments, I am quick to feel alone. I am not, and you are not. There is solidarity in feeling rejected - I am certain everyone has felt it or been there.

But how beautiful is it that rejection can be healed by others? Holding hands, a hug, those touches mean something, physical reassurance that we are loved. In those moments when we are alone that is precisely when we must give. That's what we did. We hugged our friend in group, clenched her hand, until she felt loved. She is human.